


Perception Free

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, Nonbinary Character, Other, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 17:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13392585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Perception Free

Nonbinary means being able to experience myself free of definition and perception. It feels so amazing to finally be able to say that - loudly and proudly. Some days I lean to what is defined by society as masculine and other days I lean toward what is stereotypically feminine, and other days I fall in between in varying degrees. But I’m finally okay with who I am. I’ve distanced myself from all the toxic people I knew personally and I can admit it to myself. 

I am nonbinary. 

My name is Y/N Y/L/N.

I want to go by they or them, not he or she.

I am non-fucking-binary. And I’m awesome.

Being confident in my own identity doesn’t mean I’m not still nervous though. Nervous about those close to me that might look at me differently given this new information about me.

Slowly but surely, I’m working my way down the list of those I need to tell - that who they see in front of them is not necessarily what they perceive, but me…just me. My mother is a goddess. It didn’t come as a surprise to her apparently. My father is…adjusting. He doesn’t really get it, but as he said, “I don’t have to. I love you anyway.” Most of my friends have been great with the exception of one close friend that all but cut me out of her life; although I’m sad, that’s her loss not mine. 

The last person I needed to tell, probably because she’s one of the ones I’m most scared to lose, is my girlfriend, Jennifer Jareau. She’s a kick ass Special Agent with the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. She’s the epitome of beautiful, but not just because she’s stunning on the outside - she’s also full of compassion, kind to her core, and fiercely protective.

So why was I so scared to tell her?

In all likelihood, she wasn’t going to feel any differently about me. But there was always that small chance - that tiny percentage that might work against me, and if it did, I would lose her. 

As I looked in the mirror, I breathed a sigh of relief. Today was an in between day, hence the baggy jeans, pink top and way too big leather jacket that I could practically swim in. It was time to meet JJ at the restaurant. Here goes nothing.

“Hey, hon,” JJ said, as she got out of her car.

In my anxiety-ridden state, I’d ended up at the restaurant a bit early, so I got out of the car and had been leaning against the wall. Grabbing my hand, she leaned in and gave me a quick kiss before heading into the restaurant. “How was work?” I asked.

“It was fairly uneventful today,” she laughed. “I’m grateful for those days.”

“I can imagine.” I could never do what JJ did, but I admired her for it. 

We sat down at the table among the crowd of people. For the most part, I didn’t get many stares, but occasionally I did, and today was no exception. People didn’t know what to do with someone who didn’t fit into a box. 

After we ordered, I suddenly found my courage. “Jayge, can I ask you something?” My voice was shaky.

She reached across the table and lay her hands on mine. “Of course. What is it? You okay?”

“Yea.” With a deep breathe, I spit it out my worst fear. “If I were to not be exactly what people perceive, would you be okay with that? Still dating me, I mean?”

JJ’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t care what people see. I see you.”

“Well, recently I’ve been feeling like I’m nonbinary. I don’t really fit what people see as male or female. I kind of waver on the spectrum, ya know?”

She smiled and I felt a bit of the tension leave my shoulders. “I mean I’ve always called you by specific pronouns and introduced you to others that way, but when I think of you I just see you.”

“So if I dressed really masculine some days, feminine other days or androgynous other days, and maybe asked you to introduce me as they or them, you’d be cool with that? And you’d still be cool being my awesome, beautiful girlfriend?”

I grimaced in a certain way that problem made me look equal parts, anxious, pained and hopeful. For a split second, when she got up from the table, I panicked, but then she came to sit at my side. “Y/N, I really, really like you. We haven’t been going out for long, but I could love you. I know it in my heart. How you identify only matters to me in that it makes you feel comfortable in your own skin.” When she kissed my forehead, I burst into silent tears.

“Hey,” she cooed, rubbing my temple with her thumb. “Were you really nervous about telling me?”

I nodded, tears flowing silently down my face as the waiter came to the table and awkwardly dropped off our appetizer. “Yes. I’ve finally come to terms with who I am as a person, and although I’ve been ready to push anyone out of my life who couldn’t come to terms with it, I didn’t want you to be one of those people. I didn’t think you would be, mind you, but the possibility was still there in my head and that scared me.”

She kissed my forehead again and cupped my face in her hands. Finally, I’d told everyone. I could breathe.

“I’m still here,” JJ replied. “And I will be. As long as you want me to be. I’m in this for you, not what you wear or what pronoun you use.”

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I kissed her knowing the she liked me for who I truly am.


End file.
